An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell
from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was
well taken care of.
He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head;
he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall,
curled up in the corner and fell asleep.
An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next
day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and
resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour.
This continued off and on for several weeks.
Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "I would like to find
out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you
are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my
house for a nap.
"
The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note
pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with 6 children, 2
under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep.
Can I come with him tomorrow?"

> > > ...our government gave the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG instead to us as a 'We Deserve It Dividend'.
> > >
> > > To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bon-a-fide citizens 18+.
> > >
> > > Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child.
> > > So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up..
> > >
> > > So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billion which equals $425,000.00 to every person 18+ as a

> > > 'We Deserve It Dividend'.
> > >
> > > Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let's assume a tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ would pay
> > > $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.
> > >
> > > BUT it means that every adult 18+ would have $297,500.00 in their pocket. (A husband and wife would
> > > have $595,000.00).
> > >
> > > What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
> > >
> > > Perhaps you would pay off your mortgage (housing crisis solved), repay college loans (what a great
> > > boost to new grads), or put away money for college (it'll be there), or save in a bank (to create
> > > money to loan to entrepreneurs), or buy a new car (creating jobs), or invest in the market (capital drives
> > > economic growth), or pay for medical insurance (improving health care) or to enable deadbeat dads
> > > to come clean.
> > >
> > > Remember this is for every adult citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers
> > > and every other company that is cutting back, (and of course, for those serving in our armed forces).
> > >
> > > If we're going to re-distribute the wealth, let's really do it...instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00
> > > ( "vote buy" ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.
> > >
> > > If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U. S. citizen 18+!
> > >
> > > As for AIG, liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General.
> > >
> > > Sell off the real estate; let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.
> > >
> > > Here's the rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.
> > >
> > > Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work???"
> > >
> > > But can you imagine the coast-to-coast block party!
> > >
> > > Can you spell economic boom?
> > >
> > > I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion 'We Deserve It Dividend' more
> > > than I do the geniuses at AIG, (or the government for that matter).
> > >
> > > Remember, The plan only really costs $59.5 billion because $25.5 billion is returned instantly (like a rebate)    > > > in taxes to our Uncle Sam.
> > >

> > >

Ladies this has to be read, laughed at and passed on.  There is not a woman
alive today who won't crack up over this!
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week.  Early
one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I
had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am.  I had only just packed
everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am.  The trip
to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.  As
most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making
such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full
effort.
So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was
sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make
sure I was at least presentable.  I threw the washcloth in the clothes
basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in.
Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I undressed, hopped up on the
table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in
Paris or some other place a million miles away.
I was a little surprised when the doctor said, 'My, we have made an extra
effort this morning, haven't we?'  I didn't respond.  After the appointment,
I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.  The rest of the day was normal
... Some shopping, cleaning, cooking.  After school when my 6 year old
daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, 'Mommy, where's my
washcloth?'
I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She replied, 'No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my
glitter and sparkles saved inside it.'
Never going back to that doctor.  Ever. Needless to say, that didn't happen to me, but I laughed until I cried, and I hope the rest of you get a kick out of it.  Have a happy day.

Mom Test I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs," I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Momma, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart." I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mom." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad." ''Exactly," I replied back with a big smile on my face.

1.
A good head to be able to evaluate the quality of ideas and
suggestions presented to him.
2.
A good heart to be able to be compassionate and fair with the
people.
3. A good spirit to be able to hear the voice of God.
Some paths
God will lead you down don't make head and heart sense at the
time.
4. A good eye to be able to see things other people cannot.
5.
A good tongue to be able to communicate the vision to the
people and motivate them to follow.
6.
A good hand to be able to do the things that need to be
done. Knowing the right way is not the same as doing it.
7. A good foot to set an example for the people.
A minor flaw
can outshine a major mission in the eyes of small minds.

1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17.
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19.
What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20.
Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21.
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeno's.
What you do today, might burn your butt
tomorrow ! ! !
LOL ! !

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father
will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars.
"
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at estate planning than men.
LOL ! ! !